The Passionate Procrastinator

procrastinator2I’m not usually a procrastinator, but this week I decided to act like one.  I wasn’t sure why at the time, though it’s clear to me now. Still, I wanted to commit.  If I’m going to choose to be a procrastinator, I thought, I’m going to do it passionately.

This passion taught me much. I know some of you out there may at times procrastinate, too, so I share with you many tips on how to maximize your procrastination skills so that you, too, may be a passionate procrastinator. (My particular project had to do with editing a manuscript from various editors’ comments, but you can apply these tips to almost any other project you might find yourself avoiding.)

Here goes:

  • Write blog on procrastination tips
  • Update Cozi calendar grocery list
    • Reorganize said calendar’s main lists
  • Clean phone contacts that were screwed up in last software update
  • Clean ALL notifications off home screen, especially Words With Friends (for extra delay)
  • Check Facebook Feed
    • Facebook status on ideas for procrastinating steaming pile of edits
    • Get good ideas from Lois, dear friend and fellow writing superstar whose debut middle grade novel Paper Wishes, out next year by Margaret Ferguson Books (imprint of Farrar, Straus & Giroux), is sure to be an award winner:  call your mom, organize kid’s closet, meditative walk in the country, another cup of coffee, investigate the uses of coconut oil…
    • Get good ideas from friend and writer Jennifer Uhles: Um start the american horror story series. If u take this advice I promise no editing…not to mention parenting or personal hygiene…will occur for days.
    • And, noting a pattern that writers like to binge watch visual stories on TV, this one from Margaret Speaker Yuan: Binge watching Downton Abby listening to the rain on the roof.
  • Eat
  • Choose exercise documentary to watch off GAIAM TV while on Cross trainer
  • Crosstrain while watching documentary on what happens to you after you die (Spirit Space. Really good!)
  • Eat
  • Join friend and blogging expert Nathan’s annual family Weight Challenge
  • Read chapter on Emma Curtis Hopkins’ metaphysical perspective for new philosophy class starting next week
  • Write supportive card for friend
  • List all the TV shows I know (in my defense, technically research for said project)
  • DO EDITS (fill in your project) for negotiated amount of time with butt in chair
  • Check Facebook responses
  • Celebrate accomplishment by floating in hot tub in rain
    • calculate time it takes for drop to fall from above lattice to forehead
    • calculate amount of time for Smart Water bottle to float in circle around hot tub with bubbles on
    • calculate speed at which gray clouds meld into each other in the sky
  • Call Mom (thanks, Lois)
  • Add Almond Milk to Cozi grocery list since somebody used the last drop and did not add to list (eh hem)
  • Make list of ideas for procrastination
  • Shower
    • Add Moroccan Oil to Cozi list
      • Make Specialty List entitled “Things to Buy When I Have Extra Cash”
  • Start at channel one on TV guide and scan to 1,000 to check out shows while calling it research
  • Clear all phone notifications
  • Laundry! Why did it take so long to think about laundry!
  • Scratch out Novel #3 outline (preferably on grody envelope for future speech when Novel becomes award-winning bestseller.

This is not an all-inclusive list, but it should get you started. Remember when I said I knew there was some reason I was doing this other than just pure insanity? Here it is. At the end of the day I received a note from my editor saying the stated word count was actually less than we had originally thought and needed to be cut. Now, had I done that work, I would have had to redo it, right? See that? Procrastination paying off right there.

The Universe is just one step ahead of me, thank God. And I may have just gotten it out of my system so that I may now become passionate about editing.

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About jamieweilhealthcoach

I'm on a mind-body-spirit journey. At first, I thought health was about the physical body, but I'm discovering it's so much more than that. I've learned that it's more about serving and connecting with others than anything else. It's about being in the world in a blissful way. Before I blog, I meditate on what my readers need to hear--what will inspire them. Then, I write it. (www.getstrongblog.com)
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